


Never Saw The Sun

by Lacrimula_Falsa



Series: The Dead, The Dying And The Depressed [6]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Drama, F/M, Gen, Minor Character Death, Minor Character(s), POV Minor Character, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrimula_Falsa/pseuds/Lacrimula_Falsa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And he hears his father saying, in that thoroughly annoyed voice, "/You broke it, you can damn well fix it./" And in the background Irving Berlin with that stupid song. (AU, one-shot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Saw The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Random inspiration, what can I say.
> 
> Warning!: _Character death._

He doesn't mean to strike her, he _doesn't_.

But all he can hear is that she's talking about leaving, about leaving _him_. His Juliana, his darling wife, and she's saying how she doesn't understand him anymore.

_"I don't know what you want!"_

_"I still want the same things, Juliana!"_

_"No. I think what you want is revenge for being overlooked."_

And that's it, isn't it? That no one has ever really looked at him and now she isn't looking at him either.

He's just so angry, but more than that he's afraid. Because she wants to go away. And everyone always leaves him and why couldn't she be _different!?_

"Don't go!"

_"Noonien, let go of me!"_

He doesn't know why she's suddenly on the floor until he sees the blood running down her face, half obscured by her hair.

"I'm sorry."

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Juliana I'm sorry."_

And he knows so much, about weight distribution and neural pathways and stabilising frames and wiring and it's all so damn _useless_.  
He would try and staunch the bleeding but there's no bleeding to staunch, just a small trickle of blood but she's not waking up.

And he hears his father shouting at him, when he's thirteen, " _Why do you always have to_ break _everything, you useless boy?!_ "

And that's it, isn't it? He always breaks everything an that's why he doesn't have nice things.

_"I'll fix it Juliana, I promise, I'll fix it."_

But this cant be the end, because she can't _die_. Because if she's dead he'll be alone again.

...

It takes a long time, dragging her over to the machine, maybe too long but what choice does he have?

"I'll fix this, Julie. Just give me some time and I'll fix it."

That's what he says (to her, to himself, it doesn't matter anymore), while he works on her new body.

"Just you wait Julie, just wait a while and you'll be fine. No, not fine, you'll be _better_. I'll fix it. I promise."

He uses her old body for measurements. Then he buries it.  
It, not _her_ , because that's just a body and she's not dead.

She cant be dead.

...

And he realigns and re-adjusts, and tweaks and tries, and tries again.

And he hears his father saying, in that thoroughly annoyed voice, " _You broke it, you can damn well fix it_."

And he will, he _will_ make it right, make it _better_ , this time he'll fix it.

This time. Next time. Maybe.

But there's no such thing as _failure_ , because there's always the next try.

...

In the end, it takes forty-eight tries. Forty-eight times praying (he doesn't _believe_ so much as hope but maybe that's just something people do, _praying_ ), hoping, wishing and forty-eight times of rage and destruction.

But it works.

And that's it, isn't it? In the end, perseverance means success.

And he hears his father saying, in that thoroughly annoyed voice, " _You broke it, you can damn well fix it_."

And in the background Irving Berlin with that stupid song.

_Never saw the sun_

_Shining so bright_

_Never saw things_

_Going so right_

"I fixed it, Dad. This time I did."

_Blue skies_

_Smiling at me_

…

_Nothing but blue skies_

…

_Do I see_

Because she's smiling at him, and she's not dead. And what does it matter if there's a grave in the backyard.


End file.
